Daily Archives: February 21, 2015

22 HILARIOUSLY RUDE ‘ROSES ARE RED’ POEMS

Only 2 more days left till Valentine’s Day, the day we’re supposed to be all romantic and give each other roses and have candlelit dinners and stuff. You could do all that or you could mix it up a bit and send your beloved a rude poem. Roses are red poems have been around for ages and they’re a tired cliché, but I have found some remixes that traditional romantics would not approve of. Scroll down to enjoy some rather inappropriate poetry!Join my 50 Telegram Channels and online jobs here https://telegra.ph/Join-My-50-Telegram-Channels-02-041.Roses are redViolets are blueRhyming is hardLike I am for you2.Roses are okayViolets are fineYou be the 6And I’ll be the 93.Roses are redHearts are the sameOh, by the wayI think Game of Thrones is lame4.Roses are redViolets are blueI like spaghettiLet’s get it on5.Roses are redViolets are violetHere is my numberWhy don’t you dial it?6.Roses are redViolets are cheaperIf I leave silent voicemailsPlease don’t call me a creeper7.Roses are redViolets are bluePornhub is downYour mum’s facebook will do8.Roses are redViolets are blueI cry myself to sleepMasturbating to you9.Roses are redViolets are blueI’ve got general wartsSoon you will too10.Roses are redViolets are greyI’m a dog11.Roses are redViolets are violetYou can be the cockpitAnd I’ll be the pilot12.Roses are redViolets are blueI’m using my handBut I’m thinking of you13.Roses are redGrass is greenerI think of youWhen I touch my wiener14.Roses are redViolets are blueThis joke’s overusedYour sister is too15.Roses are redViolets are blueYour webcam is onAnd I’m watching you16.Roses are redViolets are blueBrown is the colourOf elephant poo17.Violets are blueRoses are redWe’re doing this backwardsThat’s what she said!18.Roses are redViolets are blueWhat I thought was vaselineTurned out to be glue!19.Roses are redViolets are blueWho is your daddy?And what does he do?20.Roses are redViolets are gloriousDon’t try to surpriseOscar Pistorius.21.Roses are redViolets are blueI have five fingersBut tonight you’ll get two.22.Roses are redViolets are blueMost nights I masturbateTo pictures of you

A NIGHT WITH MY LADY

Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night
I pick her up and hold her steady
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

I run one hand up her long neck
Just touching her makes me euphoric
Across her body, my right hand goes
I’ve been practising, believe me, it shows.

Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night
I pick her up and hold her steady
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

Another deep breath, the tension mounts
Have to stay focused, every moment counts
I am ready let’s get movin’
Here it goes, we both start groovin’.

Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night
I pick her up and hold her steady
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

I start out slow to get in the swing
As I do she starts to sing
The sounds and feelings grow more immense
The movements,become more intense.

Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night
I pick her up and hold her steady
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

She screams and screams,while am gropin’
My heart stops as I see the door open
My mom walks in and with a frown
Says, Your guitar is too loud, please turn it down.

MY GREATEST FEAR IS GROWING OLD

Age age age, no solution has been found to the wicked process of aging. I’m 22 years old right now and my biggest fear is not death, it’s growing old !!! This is not a hate speech against old people. It is simply a personal opinion about old age. Reaching 60 years of age and above  has quite a handful of challenges. The most common problem is that your sight and hearing become impaired. I cannot imagine not being able to listen to music or watch a movie or blog on both my phone and laptop. I simply love the fact that as a young person I have this unlimited energy flowing through my body. It feels wonderful to wake up feeling energized and full of life. I can be able to walk around in Nairobi town the whole day without getting tired. Old life is quite boring because most old people just sit or sleep the whole day and night. The little energy that they have is spared for critical activities such as cooking and washing a few dishes. Talking a nature walk is almost impossible for an old person. I dislike the the sad truth that the body wears out, you lose your good looks and your bones become brittle. For crying out loud, you can’t even have passionate energy-filled sex like you used to. Your sex drive also declines. You slowly begin to lose the positivity that you once had towards life.

image

%d bloggers like this: