22 HILARIOUSLY RUDE ‘ROSES ARE RED’ POEMS

Only 2 more days left till Valentine’s Day, the day we’re supposed to be all romantic and give each other roses and have candlelit dinners and stuff. You could do all that or you could mix it up a bit and send your beloved a rude poem. Roses are red poems have been around for ages and they’re a tired cliché, but I have found some remixes that traditional romantics would not approve of. Scroll down to enjoy some rather inappropriate poetry!
1.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Rhyming is hard
Like I am for you
2.
Roses are okay
Violets are fine
You be the 6
And I’ll be the 9
3.
Roses are red
Hearts are the same
Oh, by the way
I think Game of Thrones is lame
4.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I like spaghetti
Let’s get it on
5.
Roses are red
Violets are violet
Here is my number
Why don’t you dial it?
6.
Roses are red
Violets are cheaper
If I leave silent voicemails
Please don’t call me a creeper
7.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Pornhub is down
Your mum’s facebook will do
8.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I cry myself to sleep
Masturbating to you
9.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’ve got general warts
Soon you will too
10.
Roses are red
Violets are grey
I’m a dog
11.
Roses are red
Violets are violet
You can be the cockpit
And I’ll be the pilot
12.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m using my hand
But I’m thinking of you
13.
Roses are red
Grass is greener
I think of you
When I touch my wiener
14.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
This joke’s overused
Your sister is too
15.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your webcam is on
And I’m watching you
16.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Brown is the colour
Of elephant poo
17.
Violets are blue
Roses are red
We’re doing this backwards
That’s what she said!
18.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
What I thought was vaseline
Turned out to be glue!
19.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Who is your daddy?
And what does he do?
20.
Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Don’t try to surprise
Oscar Pistorius.
21.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have five fingers
but tonight you’ll get two.
22.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Most nights I masturbate
To pictures of you