Daily Archives: March 20, 2015
This video was just uploaded two days ago yet it has managed to rake up 4 MILLION VIEWS !!!. Congratulations Vitaly and keep up the good work.
There was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver’s side door with him standing right there. “NOOO!” he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by,and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. “MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!” he exclaimed. “Your a lawyer aren’t you?” asked the policeman. “Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?” the lawyer asked. “HA! Your lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about are your possessions. I bet you didn’t even notice that your left arm is missing did you?” the cop said. The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed “MY ROLEX!”
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, “Help me, there’s a bee in my vagina!” The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said “Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if the young sir would allow it.” The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife’s vagina. The doctor said, “OK, what I’m gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife’s vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my pen is out of your wife’s vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said “Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it.” So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady’s vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, “I don’t think the bee has noticed the honey yet. perhaps I should go a bit deeper.” So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After awhile the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself,he then put his hands on the young lady’s breasts and started making lots noises. The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, “Now wait a minute! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The doctor, still concentrating, replied, “Change of plans. I’m gonna drown the bastard!”
Me : You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter and Skype accounts…
My Friend : Man, and do you have life?
Me : OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
A little boy came home from school and his home work assignment was to find out what the difference was between hypothetically and realistically,so he asked his dad. His dad said, “Well, go ask your mom if she would sleep with the mailman for $1,000,000.” He went and asked and came back and said, “She said yes”. “Well”, said the dad, “Go ask your sister the same question.” He did and came back and said, “She said yes.” And the dad said, “Now go ask your brother the same thing.” He did and came back and said, “He said yes too!” And the dad said, “Well hypothetically we’re sitting on three million dollars, realistically we’re living with 2 whores and a faggot !”