Daily Archives: April 6, 2015

10 WOMEN CONFESS THE ONE THING GUYS DO THAT GETS THEM INTO BED EVERY TIME

1. Let me catch you staring at me.
“I’m such a sucker for that special moment when you catch a guy who wants to fuck your brains out later staring at you. Maybe I’m reading a menu intently or looking off into space as I wait for a guy to return from the bathroom at a restaurant and I eventually turn to see him standing dead still a few feet away, admiring me. It’s better if he doesn’t say a word. He could be thinking the sweetest or the most depraved thoughts in that moment—doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s hungry for me, and that I’m clearly the key to satisfying his needs.”
— Antonia, 30
2. Compliment the way I move.
“Sex is about action—two ravenous, naked people rolling around together as harmoniously as possible, their bodies interlocking in one position and then mutating into another—so motion is important. I would so much rather a guy comment on the way I’m gesturing or moving than say something about how I look. Maybe he tells me he likes the way I gesticulate when I’m talking about something passionately. Or maybe I’m leaning over to pick up a fork that fell off the dinner table “accidentally” (I’ll bait a dude if I feel like it), and he tells me, simply, ‘That was sexy.’”
— Michelle, 26
3. Single out a random part of my body.
“To me, the only thing worse than a vague comment like ‘you look so pretty’ is a remark targeted at an obvious body part, like my eyes or legs. Those fall totally flat on me. It’s like they’re recited from some box office flop of a romantic comedy. But when a guy takes note of a totally random part of my body that he genuinely appreciates (e.g. ‘you have the most delicate wrists,’ or ‘I love the constellation of freckles on your neck’), I trust him automatically because I know he’s bothered to really look at me. That’s what gets me in hump mode.”
— Paige, 27
4. Tell me what you want to do to me—somewhere in public, where it’s impossible to execute whatever the fantasy is.
“I’m a big fan of pleasure delay. So what really triggers my inner sex maniac is when a guy starts describing the things he wants to do to me when we’re somewhere out in the open (at a concert, in a restaurant, or walking down a busy street) and doing whatever he imagines is virtually impossible—for the time being. I want to be teased to the point that I’m practically begging a man to bang me by the time we’re finally back at his place, all alone.”
— Jacky, 30
5. Make me laugh.
“Oysters, strawberries, chocolate, whatever. Laughter is without a doubt the best aphrodisiac. I want a man to make me crack up as often as possible. I don’t care how hard he has to try. He can spend an hour Googling decent jokes before seeing me if humor doesn’t come naturally to him. When a man does his best make me smile so hard it hurts, I automatically want to do my best to make him squeal in the sack.”
— Lydia, 34
6. Tell me I’m hot, but when I least expect it.
“I’m not ashamed to say that I need a guy to make me feel like I’m the sexiest woman walking the planet when we’re together. What I don’t want is for him to do it at a time that’s predictable and lame. Don’t look me up and down and say, ‘You look amazing tonight,’ the second we meet up. When flattery is unexpected, it’s way more effective. Eye me all you want at first sight, but save the compliments for when I least anticipate them.”
— Jasmine, 25
7. Get me just the right level of tipsy.
“When either person gets sloppy drunk on a date, especially in the early stages, it’s a complete turnoff. If a guy’s slurring his speech and inadvertently bumping into shit, there’s no chance in hell I’m inviting his penis into my vagina. But when both of us get just the right amount of tipsy so we can cast our inhibitions aside and have a little drunken fun free from insecurity in bed, it’s the best.”
— Ella, 31
8. Don’t tell me I’m driving you crazy—show me.
“We all know what happens when a guy gets aroused: His dick gets rock hard. What gets me going is seeing a guy’s package protrude through his pants when we’re out together. You can tell me I’m turning you on all you want but showing me is way more powerful. Just don’t be crude about it. There’s a fine line to walk between subtle sexiness and utter stupidity and immaturity when you’re dealing with a boner.”
— Clarissa, 34
9. Fall for me.
“I’m not prude like Tara Reid’s character in American Pie or anything. I don’t need to hear ‘I love you’ before taking my clothes off. But I do need some sense that you’re falling for me, and that there’s a shot that whatever’s brewing between us might just last. If things don’t work out, that’s fine. I get that we can’t be sure about how things will turn out. But I love hearing a guy hint at the fact that he sees things going somewhere. There’s no more powerful statement than ‘I think I’m falling for you.”
— Ava, 22
10. Empower me.
“What can I say, I’m a diehard feminist. I want to fuck my equal, so a man needs to make me feel like I’m his. I fully appreciate a guy who respects me—who tells me he’s impressed by my career objectives, and can sense that I’m an ambitious woman who can and will get what she wants out of life.”
— Alana, 28

You may also want to read
1. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
2. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

WHITE SANDS

We walk along hand in hand
The sun is shining, the water bright
Not a soul around us, no one in sight
Waves slide ashore with rhythmic ease,
Caressing our toes and warming our souls
White sands before us as far as we can see
The birds above us sing sweet melodies
Walking hand in hand from sunrise to sunset
Our minds at ease our hearts at rest
A beautiful day indeed for you and I
Together reach and kiss the sky

You may also want to read
1. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
2. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

DOCTORS

Ophthalmologist
   Checked eyes
   Have styes
Proctologist
   Drop drawers
   Up yours
Plastic Surgeon
   Replace
   Plain face
Gastroenterologist
   Pass gas
   No class
Dermatologist
   All sorts
   Of warts
Audiologist
   Can’t hear
   Bad ear
Dentist
   No Floss
   Gross dross
Psychiatrist
   Your bean
   Not keen
Podiatrist
   Big toe
   Must go
ENT Specialist
   Ope’ maw
   Say ahhh
Allergist
   Please sneeze
   Don’t wheeze
Cardiologist
   Poor bloke
   Had stroke

You may also want to read
1. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
2. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

DREAM

Blessed, honoured, sacred tender love abides,
Embrace, protect, respect sweetest hold bride!

You may also want to read
1. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
2. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

TOAST

Toast, like four soldiers to attention,
and dark and light glasses snake around.
Such is my humble offering,
one to which you might aspire to give, yourself, one happy day.
Or, you may consider the time not ripe
to talk of soldiers in this time of war,
too upsetting, if not trite.

You may also want to read
1. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
2. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

I SPEAK ONLY FOUR LANGUAGES

English
Profanity
Sarcasm
And real shit.

You may also want to read
1. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
2. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

I WAS A VIRGIN FOR QUITE SOME TIME UNTIL THIS NOTIFICATION WAS FINALLY ABLE TO CUM ALONG

Like this post if you understood the true meaning of my dirty heading. Boooooom!!! I love it when my statistics are booming. It has been over 4 months since I last got this notification. I am more than happy to have gotten it today.

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You may also want to read
1. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
2. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

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