Daily Archives: June 15, 2015

MY TOP FIVE PET PEEVES

For those who don’t know, a pet peeve or pet hate is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to himself or herself, to a greater degree than others may find it.
Well, here are my pet peeves ;

1. The Duck Face
One day not long ago some girl was pranked into thinking if she made a specific stupid face she’d look even more attractive in photos. Somehow she believed them, and soon everyone she knew was inexplicably ruining every picture taken of them. The rest is history, documented thoroughly by your facebook feed if you haven’t had the good sense to delete everyone you went to high school with already.

2. People Who Make Noise in Movie Theaters
Going to the movies is expensive, which is why it’s almost inexplicable some people go and spend the whole time texting and laughing and asking stupid questions. Maybe the low lights, loud volume and the fact everyone else is shutting up is a sign that everyone should shut up. Read the room, guys.

3. Tangled Earphones
Go ahead, wrap up your earphones before you put them in your pocket. It won’t matter. It never matters. As soon as you remove them once again they’ll take five goddamn minutes of untangling before you can use them. Whisper it, but you might as well just read a book on your morning commute.

4. People Who Wait In Line To Order Food, Then Don’t Know What They Want When They’re Up To Order
Waiting in line affords one time to spend however you want. You can delete your sent texts folder, you can daydream about running a hotel for dogs like in that movie Hotel For Dogs, hell you can hum. The one obligation is that you use at least some of your time to figure out what the hell you’re going to order before you get to the front.

5. Loud Chewing
The sound of people enjoying food is maybe one of the best ways to no longer enjoy it yourself. “Look at me, I’m eating food!” is what they’d say if their stupid mouths weren’t full of food.

Here is a bonus pet peeve. It’s definitely in my list of annoying things.

6. Sorting Through All Your Tabs to See Which Page Is Playing That Music
Unexpected tab music is a peeve for only those most plugged into this 21st Century online society, also anyone who clicks through on Yelp to see if that one Mexican place is any good.

You may also want to read
1. 50 Shades Of Blogging
https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/50-shades-of-blogging/
2. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
3. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF SEX

1% of the population is missing out on amazing health benefits. They aren’t smokers that don’t quit, drinkers that continue to drink or people that refuse to exercise. This 1% of people is not reaping the mental and physical benefits of coitus because they are asexual. For everyone else that enjoys the bone-age, I would happily like to inform you that not only does it feel good but it is great for your body too!

Get high off of sex :
Sex releases a great cocktail of feel good hormones, some of which also work as painkillers and mood enhancers. As a non-medical doctor of nothing, I would recommend that if you have back aches, headaches or knee problems to go ahead and do the nasty as a remedy. Also, you might want to take an actual doctor’s advice at some point.

Stress Reliever :
No, I am not Captain Obvious, I’m his side-kick Explicit-man. The combination of intimacy, increased heart-rate and the release of feel-good hormones all contribute to a happier life. And here’s the caveat, a happier life means a less stressed life. So even when you’re not tinkling your winkles (I just made that up, I’m pretty proud of myself) you will still bask in the after-effects.

Healthy Heart :
Because it moderates testosterone and estrogen levels sex can actually help protect against heart disease. I’m going to assume that most of my readers aren’t medical students so let me explain. Lower levels of either of those hormones put you at higher risk for heart attack, for both men and women. So have more sex, it’s good for your ticker. I said ‘ticker’ relax you prude! If you are the manipulative type you can even use it next time you’re turned down for sex, just say: ‘do you want me to have a heart attack?’

The more you get, the more you want it :
Yup, having more sex will transform you into a sexual werewolf under a full moon of intercourse…OK, bad metaphor, but in actuality the more sex you have, the more that wolf will want (ok sorry that’s the last time I used it).

Look Younger :
I know, I know this article is starting to sound like the pitch for a miracle cure-all, but it’s not my fault, this is stuff backed by scientific data and research. Very, very awkward research. A study taking place at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital showed that people that did the deed around four times a week actually looked between 8-12 years younger. This is because testosterone and estrogen help keep things tight and where they’re supposed to be one your body and they are released during the humpty dumpty. ‘You’re looking a bit tired you want to have some sex to perk you up?’  probably won’t get you looking any younger though.

Boosts your immune system : better than Orange Juice!
Doing the Bed Ballet can keep you out of bed. A study done in Pennsylvania at Wilkes University showed that people that engaged regularly in relations of the sexy type had higher levels of an antibody that protected against common colds. So to avoid being a sneezy, snotty mess, you need to become a hot and bothered mess. Also again avoid using this: ‘Do you want me to get sick?’ because they will probably assume that you already are.

How much sex do you have? Do you think it keeps you healthy? Let me know in the comment section below!

You may also want to read
1. 50 Shades Of Blogging
https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/50-shades-of-blogging/
2. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
3. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

THIS IS THE GREATEST SCREENSHOT I HAVE EVER TAKEN

To read this post, click on this link https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne/

image

You may also want to read
1. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
2. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

LET’S CONNECT ON TWITTER (#FOLLOWFORFOLLOW)

Hey people, follow me on Twitter and I promise I will follow you back immediately. My twitter handle is @ManuMuema

You may also want to read
1. Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
2. I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne

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