Daily Archives: July 7, 2015

LOOKS VS PERSONALITY

Looks aren’t everything, but you can’t wank over personality

18+ WEBSITES

This website contains adult material that is not suitable for anyone under 18 years of age. If you are under 18 you are not allowed to use this site without parental consent”
“…MUUUUUUUUM CAN I HAVE A WANK?”

ABORTIONS

“Dad, how do you feel about abortions?”

“Well, why don’t you ask your sister?”

“But I don’t have a…”

STRANGULATION

After strangulation, which organ in the female body remains warm after death?

My cock.

EXCUSES FOR NOT HAVING SEX

I hate some of the excuses women come up with for not having sex. Like:

“I’m on my period.”

“I’ve got a headache.”

Or

“Get your hands off my neck I don’t even know you.”

A FAULTY KEYBOARD

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

AN ACCIDENT

I left my car in a car park the other day, when I came back to it the bumper and rear lights were all smashed up. Then I found this note under the wiper. It said :

I just accidentally reversed into your car.
Quite a few people saw me do it.
They think I’m leaving my name and details.
Well, I’m not.

DRINK RESPONSIBLY

I have decided to produce and sell a strong alcoholic drink called “Responsibly”

That way everyone in the country can get shit faced drinking responsibly.

And all the other drinks makers will be advertising for me on their cans with the slogan “please drink responsibly”

Probably will piss off the government as well.

SPINACH AND ANAL SEX

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’ll hate it as an adult.

A GAME OF RAPE

Who here wants to play a game of rape?

No? That’s the spirit!

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