Daily Archives: July 7, 2015
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“…MUUUUUUUUM CAN I HAVE A WANK?”
“Dad, how do you feel about abortions?”
“Well, why don’t you ask your sister?”
“But I don’t have a…”
After strangulation, which organ in the female body remains warm after death?
I hate some of the excuses women come up with for not having sex. Like:
“I’m on my period.”
“I’ve got a headache.”
“Get your hands off my neck I don’t even know you.”
I left my car in a car park the other day, when I came back to it the bumper and rear lights were all smashed up. Then I found this note under the wiper. It said :
I just accidentally reversed into your car.
Quite a few people saw me do it.
They think I’m leaving my name and details.
Well, I’m not.
I have decided to produce and sell a strong alcoholic drink called “Responsibly”
That way everyone in the country can get shit faced drinking responsibly.
And all the other drinks makers will be advertising for me on their cans with the slogan “please drink responsibly”
Probably will piss off the government as well.
What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’ll hate it as an adult.