Daily Archives: July 26, 2015

A SHAMPOO SURVEY

I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering.

98 of them said, “How the fuck did you get in here?”

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MY SECRETARY

I was fucking my secretary up the arse when my wife walked in.

She said, “You can’t do this to me!”

I said, “I know… that’s why I’m doing it to her.”

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WATCHING A NEW MOVIE

Warning: This movie ‘MAY’ contain nudity?

Either it does or it doesn’t, don’t waste my fucking time.

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A JOB INTERVIEW

At a job interview.

“What would you say was your greatest weakness?”

“Honesty.”

“I don’t think honesty is a weakness.”

“I don’t give a fuck what you think.”

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