Daily Archives: September 11, 2015
I’m not saying my cousin is ugly, but last Valentine’s Day she didn’t get a single card.
While her classmates were all raped repeatedly.
“I’m sure my wife’s cheating on me and I have to go away on business soon. I’m going to make her wear a chastity belt.” I said to my best mate.
“Waste of time, ” he replied, “I didn’t want to be the one to have to tell you, but she’s shagging a locksmith.”
It’s unlucky to open up a cocktail umbrella inside.
But it does help scrape away the infection.
My wife couldn’t believe it when I told her I started masturbating in primary school.
Apparently I should have waited until I got home in case one of my pupils saw me.