MY RETIREMENT PLAN

My bank manager said to me, “Do you have a retirement plan?”

I said, “Yes, I’m going to spend all my money on coke and prostitutes before my kids get their fucking hands on it.”

MY VISIT TO THE DOCTOR

Went to the doctor’s this morning for a prostrate examination.

“Don’t be embarrassed”, He said, “Taking trousers off is normal for this type of procedure.”

“Erm…Ok”, I replied, “Should I take mine off as well?”