Daily Archives: September 16, 2015
The morning of my wife’s birthday I handed her her first gift. As she unwrapped it she said, “It’s a fucking wand! What do I want with a fucking wand?”
“It’s not just any wand.” I replied, “It’s a magic wand!”
“Really?” she said, “What’s it do?”
“Why don’t you give it shake,” I told her, “and don’t forget to say the magic words.
“Okay,” She said shaking the wand, “Abracadabra!”
“Fuck me love!” I said peering down the side of the bed, “You’re not going to believe this.”
“What is it?” she asked all excitedly.
I said, “You’ve just made all your other presents disappear!”
BBC News headline: Girl, 12, finds porn on Amazon search
Who the fuck keeps their stash in a rainforest?
At this point in life, my greatest chance of having a threesome will be sex with a schizophrenic.