Daily Archives: October 29, 2015

MY WIFE

“I like talking when we make love, but I can’t stand it when you narrate the whole thing.” said my wife.

“As she complained, I began removing my trousers.” I replied.

MY WIFE

Wife: Does my bum look big in this?
Me: Yeah,its the same bastard size no matter what the fuck you wear.

CINDERELLA

As Cinderella fled the ball she left a glass slipper,

“I shall find the woman who this slipper fits and marry her,” he said to his aide.

“Sire,” shouted his aide, “There is this as well.” and he shown the prince the smallest dildo in the world.

“Ok, fuck the slipper,” said the prince, “Let’s find the woman this fits instead.”

THE BEST COSTUME EVER

I’ve got a proper scary costume for our Halloween party.

I’m going as a feminist.

MY WIFE

On the day we were married my wife said I do…

…luckily for me it was when I asked if she liked it up the arse.

FEMINISTS

I raped a feminist earlier. Big mistake. In search of equality she raped me back.

A PAPER CUT

I’ve got a paper cut on my anus.

All because I contacted my doctor about what I should do with my letter of complaint.

T

“Give me a T”

“T”

“Give me a T”

“T”

“Oh, fuck it. I’ll go to another cafe”.

BEYONCE SINGS A PRINCE-INSPIRED TRIBUTE TO NICKI MINAJ LIVE ON STAGE

Is there anything sweeter than mega-celeb BFFs? Two of those BFFs — rap queen Nicki Minaj and Queen Bey — celebrated Jay Z’s music-streaming service Tidal reaching 1 million subscribers last week at Barclays Center in Brooklyn. The event featured performances from Bey, Minaj, T.I., Usher, Nick Jonas, Lil Wayne, and others.

The concert saw Beyoncé and Minaj perform their 2014 masturbation empowerment anthem “Feeling Myself,” and, after the show, rehearsal footage emerged of the divas goofing around with a modified version of Prince’s 1984 masturbation anthem, “Darling Nikki.” In it, Bey sings, “I met this girl named Nicki / I guess you can say she was the rap queen / I met her in the studio lobby but her booty looked bigger in the magazines / She said ‘B, would you jump on this song of mine?’ / How could I resist when I heard little Nicki rhyme.”

Watch the video below.

NICKI MINAJ SUFFERS A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION IN WHICH HER NIPPLE GETS EXPOSED

Nicki Minaj suffered a very public wardrobe malfunction when she experienced a so-called ‘nip slip’ at London’s Wireless Festival on Sunday. Singing and dancing before an audience of thousands, the American star gave music lovers a serious eyeful as shhe delivered an energetic set. Seemingly unaware of the gaffe, she performed for several minutes as her partially-exposed nipple enjoyed a very public airing. And, even when she did notice, she blithely shrugged it off. Peep the explicit pics below.

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