THE CANDYMAN

I thought it was all just a stupid superstition, so I stood defiantly in front of the mirror and said ‘Candyman’ five times. Then I felt the breath on the back of my neck and a voice whisper in my ear.

“There’s candy?” asked my wife.

AVRIL NYAMBURA’S NAKED PHOTOS

Judith Nyambura Mwangi, popularly known by her stage name Avril, made news after her unclad pictures circulated on the internet. Click here to watch Avril’s sextape and view her naked pictures http://viahold.com/2KTc

The artist was not as popular as she is now. Many believe that she leaked them in a bid to create publicity. Avril claimed that the images were photo shopped by a malicious individual. Avril also claims to have starred in the photos as part of a course in campus … which campus? The Lesbian University of Sexology? Try again boo. At the time, the musician was involved in a fling with Dj Crème de la crème who was engaged to his beautiful fiancée. If you didn’t get a chance to see the famous pictures, here they are:

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You may also want to read;
* 50 Shades of Blogging https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/50-shades-of-blogging/
* Nicki Minaj Call Miley Cyrus a Bitch Live At The VMA Awards https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/nicki-minaj-calls-miley-cyrus-a-bitch-live-at-the-2015-video-music-awards/
* Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
* I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne/
* Lil Wayne’s Tattoos https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/lil-waynes-tattoos-2/
* My Other WordPress Blog https://thatmomentwhenlilwaynesays.wordpress.com/

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CHANGING TIMES

Oh how times have changed.

I used to spend my nights out ogling women.

Now I spend my nights in googling them.

MY GPS

My GPS just told me to turn around.

Now I can’t see where I’m driving.

MY GIRLFRIEND

My girlfriend moaned that I treat her unfairly.

I said, “Fucking hell. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the floor.”

MY WIFE

I called my wife into the front room where I was reading the paper.
“Did you know,” I asked. “That a single one of your shoes harbours more bacteria than the toilet bowl?”
“Don’t be silly,” she laughed.
“It does,” I protested. “The cat just had a shit in it.”

HAVING FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE

According to psychologists, it only takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide whether you have feelings for someone.

And if she makes you come in less than 90 seconds, it means you love her.

SMH

Two soldiers have each been sentenced to 12 years in prison for raping a man in Cambridge.

They both pleaded with the judge for life sentences.

HEEEEEEELP !!!

There’s something I don’t quite understand. I have 1000 followers who blog is have .wordpress.com blogs, and 8 email followers/subscribers, okay?
Are you still following?
But the total number of my followers is 4000 (That place which says submit your email to follow this blog along with 4000 other people)

But the total should be 1008, right?
So where are these other people from?
The numbers just don’t add up.

Follow me on Instagram ;

Follow me on Twitter ;
Follow @ManuMuema

You may also want to read;
* 50 Shades of Blogging https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/50-shades-of-blogging/
* Nicki Minaj Call Miley Cyrus a Bitch Live At The VMA Awards https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/nicki-minaj-calls-miley-cyrus-a-bitch-live-at-the-2015-video-music-awards/
* Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
* I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne/
* Why I Blog A.k.a Agnes Wanjiru https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/17/agnes-wanjiru-wangethe-a-k-a-shee/
* Lil Wayne’s Tattoos https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/lil-waynes-tattoos-2/
* My Other WordPress Blog https://thatmomentwhenlilwaynesays.wordpress.com/

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WOMEN

Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the colour 9.