Daily Archives: November 1, 2015
NICKI MINAJ DRESSES UP AS A FAIRY FOR HALLOWEEN
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FIRST BASE
I never usually get to first base with a girl, but last night I got a home run.
It’s much easier when you bring a baseball bat.
DOING LAUNDRY
“What the fuck is in the washing machine?” asked my wife. “It sounds like a brick.”
“Oh, “I’m just washing my socks,” I replied. “There’s a pretty big load in there.”
MY GIRLFRIEND
Once a month I’m fucking horrible to my girlfriend. I mean, truly nasty. I’ll call her a fat slag, throw the dinner she has made on the floor, and then when she tries to pay me a compliment I’ll burst into tears before screaming ‘cunt’ at the top of my lungs.
That’ll teach her for being a feminist in search of equality.