Daily Archives: November 9, 2015

WOMEN

A woman is sitting, waiting outside a hospital wing, waiting for the news as her husband has been in a coma for the past 3 days. A doctor walks over to her, looks at her and shakes his head slowly.

“Is it bad?” she asks.

“Yeah, it’s bad. You’re sitting here posting things on Facebook, taking runny makeup selfies, meanwhile, your husband, for the last three hours has completely recovered.”

A SMALL JOB

Just finished a small building job in Greece. They paid me by Bank Transfer.

Now I own the whole Bank of Athens.

A NASTY GLASS OF WINE

What do you call a glass of wine with spit and jizz in?

Just a glass of wine when served to my mother in law.

CARPENTRY

I was going to make a joke about carpentry but can’t think of any that wood work.

WOMEN

I just saw my local community centre was holding self-defense classes for women.

How many classes does it really take to teach them stop, drop, and suck?

MY SON

My son said, “I haven’t got a clue what I want to do when I leave school.”

I said, “What about a career in the catering industry like me.”

He said, “Dad, you deliver fucking pizzas.”

A GOOD DEED

Gave up my seat to a pregnant woman on the bus today.

Pointless really, as she’d never driven a bus before.

THE FEMINIST

Why did the feminist cross the road.

To complain about sexism to the men who were building it.

MY BACKUP FOR MY NEW FLAG COUNTER

Flag Counter

LIL WAYNE PERFORMS ALL OF HIS “BACK TO BACK” FREESTYLE FROM HIS UPCOMING MIXTAPE NO CEILINGS 2 AT LIFE NIGHTCLUB IN LAS VEGAS

Lil Wayne hosted a “HalloWeezy” event at LiFE Nightclub inside the SLS Las Vegas Hotel & Casino in Nevada on Halloween (October 31st). During the party, Weezy got on the mic to perform the full version of his freestyle over Drake’s “Back To Back” song live (most of it was acapella), which will be appearing on his upcoming No Ceilings 2 mixtape that will drop on November 26th.
You can watch a video of Tunechi rapping all of his “Back To Back” freestyle below.

%d bloggers like this: