Daily Archives: December 2, 2015

MY GRAN

“My gran once told me my grandad had a heart of gold…

…And that’s why I’m in the cemetery at 3 in the morning with a spade, Officer.”

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You may also want to read;
* Avril Nyambura Uploads My Photo To Her Instagram Account And Gives Me A Shout Out And Also Gives Me Seven Likes On My IG Pics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/08/15/avril-nyambura-uploads-my-photo-to-her-instagram-page-and-gives-humble-young-me-a-shout-out/
* Trukfit’s Official Instagram Account Likes My Photo And Retweets My Tweet https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/11/20/the-official-trukfit-instagram-account-likes-my-photo-on-2492014-at-exactly-10-20-p-m-and-retweets-my-tweet-about-this-post-2/
* 50 Shades Of Blogging https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/50-shades-of-blogging/
* Christina Milian (Lil Wayne’s girlfriend) Likes Three Of My Photos On Instagram https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/11/20/news-just-in-christina-milian-who-is-lil-waynes-girlfriend-liked-two-of-my-photos-on-instagram-5th-february-2015-at-exactly-11-12-p-m-2/
* Nicki Minaj Calls Miley Cyrus a Bitch Live At The VMA Awards https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/nicki-minaj-calls-miley-cyrus-a-bitch-live-at-the-2015-video-music-awards/
* Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
* I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne/
* Trukfit : Lil Wayne’s Clothing Line https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/trukfit/
* Why I Blog A.k.a Agnes Wanjiru https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/17/agnes-wanjiru-wangethe-a-k-a-shee/
* Lil Wayne’s Tattoos https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/lil-waynes-tattoos-2/
* My Second WordPress Blog (Instanicki) https://instanicki.wordpress.com/
* My Third WordPress Blog (That Moment When Lil Wayne Says) https://thatmomentwhenlilwaynesays.wordpress.com/

Instagram

WITH THE NEW WORDPRESS WIDGET YOU CAN VIEW YOUR STATISTICS FROM YOUR SMARTPHONE’S HOMESCREEN 😂

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With this extremely significant development, you can now monitor your stats on the go, without even having to launch the WordPress android application. This is such a marvellous development. Congrats to the WordPress team and the app developers.

Oh and you can also add a publishing shortcut to your homescreen and quickly create a post without having to flick through all 13 pages of your app drawer like me.

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You may also want to read;
* Avril Nyambura Uploads My Photo To Her Instagram Account And Gives Me A Shout Out And Also Gives Me Seven Likes On My IG Pics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/08/15/avril-nyambura-uploads-my-photo-to-her-instagram-page-and-gives-humble-young-me-a-shout-out/
* Trukfit’s Official Instagram Account Likes My Photo And Retweets My Tweet https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/11/20/the-official-trukfit-instagram-account-likes-my-photo-on-2492014-at-exactly-10-20-p-m-and-retweets-my-tweet-about-this-post-2/
* 50 Shades Of Blogging https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/50-shades-of-blogging/
* Christina Milian (Lil Wayne’s girlfriend) Likes Three Of My Photos On Instagram https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/11/20/news-just-in-christina-milian-who-is-lil-waynes-girlfriend-liked-two-of-my-photos-on-instagram-5th-february-2015-at-exactly-11-12-p-m-2/
* Nicki Minaj Calls Miley Cyrus a Bitch Live At The VMA Awards https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/nicki-minaj-calls-miley-cyrus-a-bitch-live-at-the-2015-video-music-awards/
* Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
* I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne/
* Trukfit : Lil Wayne’s Clothing Line https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/trukfit/
* Why I Blog A.k.a Agnes Wanjiru https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/17/agnes-wanjiru-wangethe-a-k-a-shee/
* Lil Wayne’s Tattoos https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/lil-waynes-tattoos-2/
* My Second WordPress Blog (Instanicki) https://instanicki.wordpress.com/
* My Third WordPress Blog (That Moment When Lil Wayne Says) https://thatmomentwhenlilwaynesays.wordpress.com/

Instagram

THE LIEBSTER AWARD

Hi tweeps, A huge thank you to Paul for nominating me for the Liebster Award. Paul is a bit of a wiseguy, has a mouth on him but he does curb his language in his writing.
Just like he says,

It is an odd oldie Liebster.

The Rules Of The Award

1. Acknowledge your nominator and link to the award.

2. Then nominate 11 or more people.

3. Tell us 11 things about yourself.

4. Answer the questions I ask and do the same to your nominees.

My Nominees

1. Suchie a.k.a Lil Rant whose blog name says it all. She’s shy in person but likes to rant a whole lot behind a computer screen.
2. Ritu, her cat Sonu Singh and her extreme love for her family and hubby. She still smiles anyway, no matter the situation. I owe her 80% of my 1337 likes. My target is now ten thousand likes. 😂
3. Matt and his cats to whom I’m entirely grateful for nominating me for The Starlight Blogger Award. @Matt, yo dude, how many cats do you have? Please share with us.
4. Amalia Pedemonte a.k.a A.P. a.k.a Amy who has given me numerous tips on how to connect with the WP community. She helped expose my blog further to the world. Before I met her online I didn’t know that you can follow a blog and gain followers while at it. She has an experience of 6.7 million views on her blog. I’m always in shock whenever I visit it.
5. Edwina and her never-ending episodes who’s quite a cheerful woman. I like how her blog name rhymes. She loves relaxing and taking a look at the lighter side of life.
6. Ompong the excellent photographer whose camera might just have the same megapixels as the human eye, 576 MP.
7. Sobiya the lawyer from whose food blog knows no limits. The Plate Memoirs is such an elegant name, so very exquisite. It sounds like an expensive dish that I would order a French restaurant. ” I’ll have a slice of bacon, your special for tonight, The Plate Memoir and a glass of red wine please.”
8. The Wine Wankers. Your blog name cracks me up each time, I can not even begin to imagine trying to wank with wine. (We are all adults here, no need to keep the posts extremely clean).
9. Jeanine whom we had an intense conversation with a while back but I haven’t heard from.
10. Emma, who has a deep appreciateion for kittens, leopard print and potatoes. Hahaha, that’s so random. Potatoes.
11. This Chic That Blogs a.k.a The owner of the blog Dainty Delusions. She really helped me in being able to sell my artwork on Society6.com
12. The Owner of the anonymous blog Poetry and Chocolate and Books.
13. Marie, her three-year-old who growls for no particular reason and her 18-month-old who chews on the furniture. Lol. Kids. Since at the moment she was not trying to convince her children they are, in fact, human, she had some time to spare and was kind enough to share my latest post on both Twitter and Facebook. Thanks a lot.
14. Kemdirim the bookworm who nominated me for The One Lovely Blog Award.
15. Kathy who is my favourite type of commenter. She is never to lazy to exchange ots of words in form of long paragraphs. She’s had so many up and downs in her life and she found that WordPress is the perfect place that she could put it into words and see if it makes a difference.
15. Karen, the owner of the blog Nanny Cool whose name explains it all. She’s simply a nanny with cool ideas.
16. Jane Ridson the magnificent author of many award-winning books, who is always generous with likes. I love her personality.
17. Shehanne Moore the writer who’s had my back on WP ever since day 1. Her presence on my blog is always felt.

Paul’s Questions

1. Why did you start your blog?
To connect with as many people as possible on the blogosphere.
2. What do you write about and do you intend on adding to your categories?
I specialize in celebrity news but I also mix it up with my personal posts.
3. What categories do you like the most?
Song lyrics.
4. Which bloggers are in your top ten list?
Uhhhhhm, Phew, this is a hard question. I’d say
*Ritu from But I Smile Anyway
*Suchie Sarkar from Lilrant
*Edwina from Edwina’s Episodes
*Jane Ridson
*Matt and his cats
*Ompong the media warrior
*The Wine Wankers
*Conrad
*Sobiya
*Jeanine

5. What is your favorite meal?
Chapati and goat meat.
6. Do you rather cook or go out to eat?
I would rather freaking go out to eat. Men are alergic to cooking, except chefs.
7. What is your favourite movie or book?
My favourite movie is Ted. That talking teddy bear is too dope.
8. What time do you go to sleep at night?
12 a.m. I’m quite nocturnal.
9. What is your current job?
I don’t have a job.
10. Do you have any pets and if so tell us.
I don’t have pets. Animals are wierd.
11. Which Holiday is your favorite?
Halloween.

My Questions To My Nominees

1. What is your biggest fear?
2. Why did you start blogging?
3. What is your favourite song ?
4. What is your naughtiest fantasy?
5. If you had the chance to meet one celebrity, who would it be?
6. Which bloggers are in your top ten list?
7. Do you ever sing in the shower?
8. How did you decide the name for your blog?
9. What is your favourite theme on WordPress?
10. If you had to stay for one year without your phone or one year without having sex, what would you choose?
11. If you could commit a crime and get away with it, what would it be?

liebster-award

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You may also want to read;
* Avril Nyambura Uploads My Photo To Her Instagram Account And Gives Me A Shout Out And Also Gives Me Seven Likes On My IG Pics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/08/15/avril-nyambura-uploads-my-photo-to-her-instagram-page-and-gives-humble-young-me-a-shout-out/
* Trukfit’s Official Instagram Account Likes My Photo And Retweets My Tweet https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/11/20/the-official-trukfit-instagram-account-likes-my-photo-on-2492014-at-exactly-10-20-p-m-and-retweets-my-tweet-about-this-post-2/
* 50 Shades Of Blogging https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/50-shades-of-blogging/
* Christina Milian (Lil Wayne’s girlfriend) Likes Three Of My Photos On Instagram https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/11/20/news-just-in-christina-milian-who-is-lil-waynes-girlfriend-liked-two-of-my-photos-on-instagram-5th-february-2015-at-exactly-11-12-p-m-2/
* Nicki Minaj Calls Miley Cyrus a Bitch Live At The VMA Awards https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/nicki-minaj-calls-miley-cyrus-a-bitch-live-at-the-2015-video-music-awards/
* Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
* I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne/
* Trukfit : Lil Wayne’s Clothing Line https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/trukfit/
* Why I Blog A.k.a Agnes Wanjiru https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/17/agnes-wanjiru-wangethe-a-k-a-shee/
* Lil Wayne’s Tattoos https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/lil-waynes-tattoos-2/
* My Second WordPress Blog (Instanicki) https://instanicki.wordpress.com/
* My Third WordPress Blog (That Moment When Lil Wayne Says) https://thatmomentwhenlilwaynesays.wordpress.com/

Instagram

THIS WILL GIVE YOU A SHOEGASM

Why do women love shoes?

Because no matter how much and whatever they eat , the shoes always fit.

SHE A CANCER, I HIT HER WITH THAT CHEMO DICK – LIL WAYNE

Tune Tune Tune, the funniest lyricist alive. In the song “Kill” ft Jadakiss, Wayne raps the above lyric.

Weezy is referring to her astrological sign, Cancer. Playing on the medical disease “Cancer”, Wayne provides her with relief via his “chemo dick”, channeling the beneficial procedure known as chemotherapy that is proven to cause a reversal of Cancer symptoms in some cases.

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Rate this post and follow me on Twitter and Instagram;

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You may also want to read;
* Avril Nyambura Uploads My Photo To Her Instagram Account And Gives Me A Shout Out And Also Gives Me Seven Likes On My IG Pics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/08/15/avril-nyambura-uploads-my-photo-to-her-instagram-page-and-gives-humble-young-me-a-shout-out/
* Trukfit’s Official Instagram Account Likes My Photo And Retweets My Tweet https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/11/20/the-official-trukfit-instagram-account-likes-my-photo-on-2492014-at-exactly-10-20-p-m-and-retweets-my-tweet-about-this-post-2/
* 50 Shades Of Blogging https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/50-shades-of-blogging/
* Christina Milian (Lil Wayne’s girlfriend) Likes Three Of My Photos On Instagram https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/11/20/news-just-in-christina-milian-who-is-lil-waynes-girlfriend-liked-two-of-my-photos-on-instagram-5th-february-2015-at-exactly-11-12-p-m-2/
* Nicki Minaj Calls Miley Cyrus a Bitch Live At The VMA Awards https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/nicki-minaj-calls-miley-cyrus-a-bitch-live-at-the-2015-video-music-awards/
* Lil Wayne’s Smartest Lyrics https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/lil-waynes-smartest-lyrics/
* I’m Addicted To Lil Wayne https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/im-addicted-to-lil-wayne/
* Trukfit : Lil Wayne’s Clothing Line https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/trukfit/
* Why I Blog A.k.a Agnes Wanjiru https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2015/09/17/agnes-wanjiru-wangethe-a-k-a-shee/
* Lil Wayne’s Tattoos https://mynameisemmanuelmuema.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/lil-waynes-tattoos-2/
* My Second WordPress Blog (Instanicki) https://instanicki.wordpress.com/
* My Third WordPress Blog (That Moment When Lil Wayne Says) https://thatmomentwhenlilwaynesays.wordpress.com/

Instagram

ANOTHER NSFW POST

I stood behind her and reached forward to undo the strap.

Without seeing, I knew that she was now bouncing free.

She turned and jumped on me, pushing me to the floor and started licking me all over.

At this point I had too shout at her to stop and chastise her.

Guide dogs are meant to be trained never to jump up.

WARNING : THIS POST IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK (NSFW)

Masturbation is said to be a great way to relieve stress.

I’ve found it tends to increase it for the other passengers on the bus.

LIFE, HUH?

It’s said that when life ends, the entire lifetime flashes before the eyes.

For males, however, the last thing that’s heard before life ends is, ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’.

PLEASE TRY THIS, IT’S SO TRUE

Naming a porn website “Brazzers” is really considerate because the name can be typed entirely with the left-hand.

THE FREAKIEST LYRICS IN THE SONG “PSYCHO” FROM THE FREE WEEZY ALBUM

Even psycho’s need love too, I save all her text messages
I smell her panties while she in the bathroom
And taste whatever she left in them
I take pictures of her when she not lookin’
Study ‘em microscopically, marry me and then bury me
And then bury her on top of me, I’m psycho.

The meaning of these lyrics is explained below;

It’s normally women tainted with the pycho tag, but Wayne flips it and describes a series of uncomfortable actions that a normal person would consider unhealthy.

Wayne lists a number of slightly excessive actions, including panty sniffing (and, apparently, panty tasting), and taking pictures whilst his girl is asleep so he can view them at his leisure.

It is the antithesis of his song “Single”, which described the actions of a girlfriend who had become way too attached.

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