Monthly Archives: April 2016

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY

*Whistles*

image

I’M A BEAST IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Proof attached.

image

TELEGRAM IS THE BEST APP EVER

image

Join me in celebrating the awe of Telegram.

LIVING THE BAD LIFE

My house is so small that I had to train the dog to wag its tail up and down instead of from side to side.

I DON’T NEED SEX

because the government fucks me everyday.

GROOM SUES HIS BRIDE AFTER SEEING HER WITHOUT MAKE-UP FOR THE FIRST TIME JUST ONE DAY AFTER THEIR WEDDING

finger finger finger finger

Rate this post and follow me on Twitter and Instagram;

Instagram

He may have agreed to take her for better and for worse, but for one Algerian groom, seeing his new wife without make-up was a step too far.
The husband was so shocked after seeing his bride’s face the morning after their wedding that he failed to even recognise her.
He even accused her of being a thief that had broken into his house.
After realising it was in fact the woman he had married only yesterday, he decided to take her to court – accusing her inflicting ‘psychological suffering’ by ‘cheating’ him with her make-up.
The groom is now seeking $20,000 (Β£13,000) damages.
Newspapers in the North African Arab country said the groom swore in court that he even mistook his wife for a ‘thief who came to steal his apartment’, Emirates 24/7 reports.
‘He said he was deceived by her as she used to fill up her face with make up before their marriage,’ the papers said, quoting a court source.
‘He said she looked very beautiful and attractive before marriage, but when he woke up in the morning and found that she had washed the make-up off her face, he was frightened as he thought she was a thief.

Kvbi4wG

finger

Follow me on Instagram ;
Instagram

finger

Follow me on Twitter ;

finger

Instagram

IS JAY Z CHEATING ON BEYONCE ????? BEYONCE SLAYS THE ENTIRE WORLD YET AGAIN WITH HER NEW VISUAL ALBUM TITLED “LEMONADE”

finger finger finger finger

Rate this post and follow me on Twitter and Instagram;

Instagram

Queen Bee has got the beyhive buzzing with exitedness after she dropped her visual album titled Lemonade. The album fuelled the the fact that Jay Z cheated on Beyonce.

The song “Sorry”from the album is where things really start to get messy.
“He only want me when I’m not there / He better call Becky with the good hair,” Beyonce sings.
“Lemonade” already has us mad at Jay, and then Rachel Roy gets added to the mix.

Roy is a fashion designer and ex-wife of Damon Dash, who is Jay Z’s former best friend and business partner. There was speculation in 2014 that Roy was somehow involved in the famous elevator altercation between Jay Z and Beyonce’s sister, Solange Knowles.
None of the principals involved have ever addressed those rumors. But Roy posted a photo of herself and some friends on Instagram with the caption: “Good hair don’t care, but we will take good lighting, for selfies, or self truths, always. live in the light #nodramaqueens.” The Instagram has been deleted.
Roy was almost immediately stung by Beyonce’s rabid fan base; the Bey Hive swarmed her social media accounts with criticism. It got so bad that confused fans were attacking TV chef Rachael Ray online.

Roy responded by tweeting: “I respect love, marriages, families and strength. What shouldn’t be tolerated by anyone, no matter what, is bullying, of any kind.”

beyonce-l

finger

Follow me on Instagram ;
Instagram

finger

Follow me on Twitter ;

finger

Instagram

TELEGRAM IS A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN WHATSAPP

finger finger finger finger

Rate this post and follow me on Twitter and Instagram;

Instagram

Here’s why;
1. It supports uploading of media files of unlimited size. This means you can send a file of over 1.5 GB anywhere in the world.
2. It has channels.
3. It doesn’t have a membership limit in both groups and channels.
4. It has groups which can have a membership of 500+ members unlike WhatsApp which has a 256 member limit.
5. You can find someone on Telegram by their username, even without having their phone number.
6. It supports sharing any type of file, be it a pdf, a doc. or an application.

image

finger

Follow me on Instagram ;
Instagram

finger

Follow me on Twitter ;

finger

Instagram

A FRIENDLY GYNAE

A gynaecologist notices that a new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says no. The doctor says, “There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs. The doctor says, “What’s so funny?” She says, “I’m imagining how they make condoms.”

AN OLD COUPLE

There was an old couple laying in bed. The man turns and tells the woman, “If you want to have sex, pull on my dick once. If you don’t want to have sex, pull on my dick one hundred times.”

%d bloggers like this: