Daily Archives: May 1, 2016

I’M QUITE AN ACHIEVER

I’m quite pleased with myself. I now only smoke three packets of cigarettes a day. I gave up cigarettes completely – I just smoke the packets.

MY WIFE’S CAREER PATH

My wife is is the mining business – she’s always saying : “That’s mine! That’s mine! And that’s mine!”

A PRESENT FOR MY WIFE

Last year when I was on holiday in New York I bought a lovely chair for my wife. Now all I’ve got to do is plug it in.

THE THINGS MY WIFE’S MOUTH CAN DO

My wife doesn’t really have a big mouth – but she once gave the kiss of life to a whale.

MY GIRLFRIEND

My girlfriend is a real sex object. Whenever I mention sex she objects.

MY MOTHER

When I was a small boy my mother used to give me vitamins B1, B2, B6, B12 and B quiet.

MY WIFE

I have a special soft spot for my wife – a large swamp in Africa.

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