Daily Archives: May 3, 2016

WOMEN

If women aren’t supposed to be in the kitchen, then why the fuck do they have milk and eggs inside them?!

A CUNNING POLICE OFFICER

Officer: “Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake.”
Lady: “Why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?”
Officer: “Well, that’s not prohibited.”

NOW, THAT’S THE WAY TO DO IT

How do you fix a woman’s watch? You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.

NOW YOU KNOW

Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

A CALL TO 911

A man calls 911 and says, “I think my wife is dead.” The operator says, “How do you know?” The man says, “The sex is just the same, but the ironing is piling up!”

SEXISM

A man driving a car hits a woman. Whose fault is it? The man’s. Why was he driving in the kitchen?

WOMEN

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%. It’s called a wedding cake.

FACTS OF LIFE

When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.

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