Monthly Archives: July 2016
Her : Hi
Me : Hi, I want to do bad things to you.
Her : Omg, Like what?
Me : Murder your whole family. Don’t ever text me again.
What’s a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
The only reason the term ‘Ladies first’ was invented was for the guy to check out the woman’s ass.
What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.
There are 70 ways to
please a woman: 1 is
shopping, the rest is 69.