Monthly Archives: August 2016
Me : Heello, iss tthisss thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroom?
Sex shop attendant : Yes.
Me : Caann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee ffuucckkiinngg tthhiinngg ooffff!!!
I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.
What do you get when you cross an owl and a rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
It’s when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one’ so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this’.