Monthly Archives: July 2017
I’ll never forget the day my wife died, how she was shaking and clutching onto my hands.
She tried so hard to get that pillow off of her face.
Ever since I became a cop I have to deal with rape victims on a daily basis.
Apparently women trust you much more when you wear a police uniform.
Why do women like to fuck doggy style?
They can’t stand to see somebody else have a good time.
I was just trying to explain to my 3 year old daughter why my dog is a ‘her’ not a ‘him’…now my fingers smell and everyone’s crying.
In the middle of a long and messy divorce, I’ve decided that suicide is the only way out.
Now all I need to do is talk her into it.
Did you know that pigeons die after having sex?
Well the one I fucked did.
I was on my way to work this morning when I noticed the woman in the next car over, talking on her phone whilst driving.
I was so angry I threw my beer at her.
I was browsing pornhub and saw an ad that read “BBC fucks Asian in the ass.” I thought to myself, that’s a little harsh for not paying your TV licence.
My wife and I split up because we wanted different things. I wanted to fuck her sister, she didn’t want me to.