Monthly Archives: July 2017

THE DAY MY WIFE DIED

I’ll never forget the day my wife died, how she was shaking and clutching onto my hands. 

She tried so hard to get that pillow off of her face.

MY CAREER AS A POLICE OFFICER

Ever since I became a cop I have to deal with rape victims on a daily basis.

Apparently women trust you much more when you wear a police uniform.

WHY DOGGY STLYE EXISTS

Why do women like to fuck doggy style?
They can’t stand to see somebody else have a good time.

WHAT A MESSED UP DAY

I was just trying to explain to my 3 year old daughter why my dog is a ‘her’ not a ‘him’…now my fingers smell and everyone’s crying.

ALL ABOUT MY DIVORCE

In the middle of a long and messy divorce, I’ve decided that suicide is the only way out.

Now all I need to do is talk her into it.

A LESSON ABOUT PIGEONS

Did you know that pigeons die after having sex?

Well the one I fucked did.

HOW MY MORNING WAS

I was on my way to work this morning when I noticed the woman in the next car over, talking on her phone whilst driving.

I was so angry I threw my beer at her.

WELL THAT’S A BIT HARSH

I was browsing pornhub and saw an ad that read “BBC fucks Asian in the ass.” I thought to myself, that’s a little harsh for not paying your TV licence.

THE REASON MY WIFE AND I SPLIT UP

My wife and I split up because we wanted different things. I wanted to fuck her sister, she didn’t want me to.

A DRIVE THROUGH THE COUNTRYSIDE

We were driving through the countryside when my little girl said, “Look at that strange animal daddy, man at the back, sheep at the front.”

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