Author Archives: Emmanuel Muema
Apart from cocaine, has anyone else figured out what those little pockets are for in jeans?
It’s Donald Trump’s wedding anniversary in a few days.
In a rare tender moment he described the first time he laid eyes on Melania, and clicked ‘Add to cart.’
My girlfriend hates it when I show public displays of affection at the mall.
It gets worse when I’m fingering the mannequins.
A sure sign that your life is fucked up is when you see yourself naked in a mirror and decide you are going to have to lose some weight for your prostitute.
“He used me for sex”
No, you used sex to get something else out of him and it didn’t work.
PRETEND to be a skilled pharmacist by taking half an hour to put some tablets in a fucking bag.
The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s been telling lies.”
I replied, “Well, tell him he’s bloody good – I ain’t got any kids!”
It’s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart.
One will see you in a while, whereas the other will see you later.