Author Archives: Emmanuel Muema

HOW MY DAY WAS

I took my wife out yesterday. Fucking brilliant shot.

SERIOUSLY???!!!

How far into a bitch’s back do you have to press your erect dick before she gets the hint?
Seriously, I’m getting off at the next bus stop.

SERIOUSLY ???!!!!!

How far into a bitch’s back do you have to press your erect dick before she gets the hint ?
Seriously, I’m getting off at the next bus stop.

LAST NIGHT

I made my wife scream during sex last night. She walked into our daughter’s room.

MY GOSH

A big thanks to my legal team for getting my rape charge reduced to “Assault with a friendly weapon.”

YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT I DID

A notice in my local toilet said, please leave these facilities as you would expect to find them.

So I puked on the floor and drew penises on the wall.

MY GIRLFRIEND

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I’ve slept with. I probably should’ve stopped when I got to her.

SPREADING SEED

As I was out in the garden spreading seed on my lawn, I could see my next door neighbour telling me to stop wanking.

LAST NIGHT

I was tucking the kids into bed last night when one of them said,

“Where’s my mummy and daddy?”

CAITLYN JENNER WINS AN AWARD

Caitlyn Jenner has just won “Woman of the year 2015”.
Proving that men are even better at being women than women are.

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