FEMINISTS

Why are feminists fat and ugly?
Because if they were thin and attractive they wouldn’t be feminists.

A NEW INVENTION

Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.

A PRESENT FOR MY WIFE

Last year when I was on holiday in New York I bought a lovely chair for my wife. Now all I’ve got to do is plug it in.

THE THINGS MY WIFE’S MOUTH CAN DO

My wife doesn’t really have a big mouth – but she once gave the kiss of life to a whale.

MY GIRLFRIEND

My girlfriend is a real sex object. Whenever I mention sex she objects.

MY MOTHER

When I was a small boy my mother used to give me vitamins B1, B2, B6, B12 and B quiet.

SALUTE TO PORNHUB FOR THE BEST APRIL FOOLS JOKE EVER

By Emmanuel Muema

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A CUCUMBER AND A BEER VS. A MAN

What advantages do a cucumber and a beer have over a man?

The beer comes in a can, not in your mouth, and a cucumber can stay hard for weeks.

DRUGS

NETFLIX AND CHILL

If people think netflix and chill is good they should try imax and climax.