Category Archives: JOKES

FEMINISTS

I raped a feminist earlier. Big mistake. In search of equality she raped me back.

ABOUT LAST NIGHT

I said to a woman last night, “One good turn deserves another, right baby?”

“No, you cunt!” she screamed. “It’s still gang rape!”

MY DAUGHTER

Please pardon my insanity;

“What do you mean I can’t go out dressed like this, I’m going to get raped?” yelled my daughter.

“It was actually two separate statements,” I replied.

Goodnight peeps.

THE NEW IMPROVED VERSION OF 50 SHADES OF GREY

Since everybody in the world has watched Christian in action in 50 Shades, this joke should be well received ;

Anastasia : I’ve been a very bad girl. *bites her lip*
I need to be punished.

Christian : “Very well. He then installs Windows 10 on her laptop.

MY NEIGHBOUR

My neighbour knocked at my door at 2 am.

I opened the door and asked, “What is it?”

“Nothing really,” he replied, “Just saw your Facebook status and wanted to check if you were really at the gym.”

COMING FROM A FAMILY OF FARMERS

Hey Ompong, you have to check this joke out. Please tell me if you get a pingback after i link your blog here. https://photoniompong.wordpress.com/
https://photoniompong.wordpress.com/2015/09/09/wordless-wednesday-15/

Coming from a family of farmers, I was so proud when my son told me he had taken up farming.

I was not so happy when I heard the police had raided his house and taken his crops.

WINNING THE LOTTERY

Winning Β£25 on the lottery last week has changed my life forever.

I spent it on a bottle of vodka and got caught shagging my wife’s sister.

MY TEACHER

My teacher said I’d never amount to anything.

500 dollars at the local slave market proves her wrong.

WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Somebody said to me today, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

So I took my mobile phone from my pocket and showed them a picture of my wife.

SOUND ADVICE FOR THE LADIES

Don’t ask… just trust me.

Never, ever put your vibrator in the same drawer where you keep your taser.

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