EQUALITY

I love women who want equality.

I especially like the look on their faces when you tell them you’re not paying, after you’ve drunk champagne and eaten the most expensive meal on the menu.

MY DAD

My Dad was well known locally for being a hard man .

In the end mum left him because she couldn’t keep up with his viagra addiction.

WHAT CAN YOU SAY BOTH DURING SEX AND A FUNERAL ?

This would be much better if you were alive.

MY FUCKING BOSS

My boss told me, “Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have”.

Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting in a white gown and a KKK pillow over my head 😦

WOMEN 😂😂😂

Fifty percent of women suffer from vaginal dryness.

But not as much as rapists.

LITTLE POCKETS IN JEANS

Apart from cocaine, has anyone else figured out what those little pockets are for in jeans?

HOW DONALD TRUMP MET HIS WIFE

It’s Donald Trump’s wedding anniversary in a few days.
In a rare tender moment he described the first time he laid eyes on Melania, and clicked ‘Add to cart.’

LEAKED PHOTOS OF AVRIL NYAMBURA IN BED WITH A RAPPER

Former ‘Naskia Utam’ Kenyan rapper VBO Micharazo appears to be one of several frogs that singer Avril kissed before meeting her current prince charming and eventually becoming a mum.

I have reason to believe the two were more than just close friends after some of their suggestive pictures landed on my gossip desk.

WHAT MY GIRLFRIEND HATES

My girlfriend hates it when I show public displays of affection at the mall.

It gets worse when I’m fingering the mannequins.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR LIFE IS FUCKED UP

A sure sign that your life is fucked up is when you see yourself naked in a mirror and decide you are going to have to lose some weight for your prostitute.