WOMEN 😂😂😂

Fifty percent of women suffer from vaginal dryness.

But not as much as rapists.

LITTLE POCKETS IN JEANS

Apart from cocaine, has anyone else figured out what those little pockets are for in jeans?

HOW DONALD TRUMP MET HIS WIFE

It’s Donald Trump’s wedding anniversary in a few days.
In a rare tender moment he described the first time he laid eyes on Melania, and clicked ‘Add to cart.’

LEAKED PHOTOS OF AVRIL NYAMBURA IN BED WITH A RAPPER

Former ‘Naskia Utam’ Kenyan rapper VBO Micharazo appears to be one of several frogs that singer Avril kissed before meeting her current prince charming and eventually becoming a mum.

I have reason to believe the two were more than just close friends after some of their suggestive pictures landed on my gossip desk.

WHAT MY GIRLFRIEND HATES

My girlfriend hates it when I show public displays of affection at the mall.

It gets worse when I’m fingering the mannequins.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR LIFE IS FUCKED UP

A sure sign that your life is fucked up is when you see yourself naked in a mirror and decide you are going to have to lose some weight for your prostitute.

HE USED ME FOR SEX

“He used me for sex”

No, you used sex to get something else out of him and it didn’t work.

PHARMACY JOB

PRETEND to be a skilled pharmacist by taking half an hour to put some tablets in a fucking bag.

MY LYING SON

The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s been telling lies.”

I replied, “Well, tell him he’s bloody good – I ain’t got any kids!”

HA

It’s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart.

One will see you in a while, whereas the other will see you later.